I don't want to be your friend.

And by "friend" I mean the modern definition associated with Facebook, which in most cases involves people who really aren't your friends at all.

You can never have too many real friends -- you know, people who are there for you and support you through the best and worst of times. People who don't gossip about you behind your back, but gossip with you behind other people's backs. Those kinds of people.

But that kind of friendship actually takes some effort on our parts, so instead, many of us tend to fill in the empty "friend" slots in our lives with Web-based social networking.

This can be a very good thing. Facebook helps keep me in touch with old friends from high school, friends who live far away, and relatives who are more or less friends. And I enjoy hearing about their lives and sharing information about mine.

Then comes the dark side of Facebook -- people who use it as a political platform. That's not a bad thing if you want to make political connections through Facebook. I'm just one of those people who likes to keep my Facebook family on a personal level, where I don't have to worry about waking up to become embroiled in some lengthy debate over things like gun control or school taxes.

In a small world like the North Boroughs, it is especially important for me to close out the purely social and political contacts from my Facebook world. And frankly, a few other people should think about doing the same thing.

For instance, a new personality recently showed up on Facebook. This person of unknown gender (whom I will refer to as "he" for the sake of keeping this as simple as possible) has dubbed himself "Bellevue Lincoln." His profile picture is the old Bellevue High School mascot, the bulldog. Bellevue Lincoln has been taking some no-holds-barred shots at local politicians and political hopefuls. It would be somewhat refreshing to hear someone say out loud what they've been muttering to each other on the street, but I've never been a big fan of people who don't put their names behind their words.

What truly astonishes me in the exchanges that have occurred is the responses of candidates for office in Bellevue. Here's a bit of advice for people who want to politicize their Facebook experience: If you are a candidate for office who cannot spell, for pete's sake, keep your hands off the keyboard. And your best political move is probably not insulting the intelligence of the mascot that shepherded generations of Bellevue High School graduates, many of whom will be showing up at the polls on election day, or are in frequent contact with those who will.

Needless to say, I have not responded to Bellevue Lincoln's request to be my friend. Bellevue Lincoln might be a truly lovely person that I would enjoy having as a real friend, but I want to keep my Facebook experience on the level of finding out what the guy who sat in front of me in high school is cooking for dinner, or what new torture my childhood best friend has inflicted upon herself in the name of weight loss.